Sunday, February 18, 2007

"No Soup for You!"

I have to work every 3rd weekend. So I sometimes miss a church service or two. These are times that I feel sorry for Lady Di. Sometimes our kids like to make church a contact sport. And we are usually the referees. They seem to behave better when they are with Mom, but I still know how exhausting, keeping them corralled, can be. Around noon I got a call at work. Lady Di wanted to share her Sunday morning with me. Her story made me laugh out loud and I actually startled some customers. Here is her story in it's entirety.

Let me know if this has ever happened to you. This Sunday, Loren had to work, so it was up to me to get the kids to church. The kids are usually pretty good most Sundays. We've only been kicked out of church a half dozen times. This Sunday, however, seemed go even smoother than normal. The kids got out of Sunday school and weren't too wild. The three of us walked into church and sat down. Since the kids were behaving, I actually got to listen and participate in church for a change. When communion came around I was on a church-high and ready to go!
We went to the front of the church and stood at the railing with 10 or so other parishioners. The elder welcomed us and we knelt down to the rail. I folded my hands and started thinking my holy thoughts. (world peace, He is risen, I wonder if the Pope has a blog). I then started working up some extra saliva to dissolve the disk shaped cardboard they call communion wafers. I got my wafer and waited for the pastor to offer the little wine glasses. As the pastor approached, he placed his hand on Ethan's head for a children's blessing. Then he did the same to Emery. As I reached my hand to accept the thimble of wine, Pastor put his hand on my head and blessed me. He skipped my wine! Then he continued on to the other people at the railing. Emery looked at me in bewilderment, "He skipped you Mommy." I thought, "What happened? Did Pastor think I wasn't praying hard enough? Do I need to show ID? Should I raise my hand like I'm trying to get the bartender's attention? Do I need to put more in the offering plate?"
Pastor must have noticed his error, because he did come back to apologize for thinking I was a child. And I did get to complete communion. In Pastor's defense, when kneeling, Ethan and I are about the same height.
After church, Pastor again apologized, saying he made the error because I look so young. I'm going to agree with that and take that as a compliment.

This is exactly how Lady Di told me her story, word for word. (With only a few embellishments)


delightful-d said...

I'm still laughing. :)

I love how you told my story too. With the exception of just a "few" emblishments..... ;)

Great post LB!

simplicity said...

Oh My!

Maybe she was the one not on her best behavior! :)

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I'm a 40 year old dad of two. My wonderful wife, Lady Di, and I try to keep the kids from blowing things up here in central Minnesota.