Workin' For A Livin'

This summer Number One Son has decided to go into business for himself. And when I say 'decided' I mean we suggested it to him and told him he would. But we did it in a sneaky way.

N1S is always complaining about not having any money to buy the video games he wants. He actually has the money in the bank but once it's in the bank it stays in the bank. So we suggested that he ask our neighbors if they needed someone to mow their lawn this summer.

He made a couple of posters to advertise his newly formed business and put them on the doorsteps of each house next to ours. Our bachelor neighbor next door accepted N1S's terms and employed him immediately.

N1S was pretty excited to start. His excitement quickly changed after a few passes with the mower though. He must have thought that mowing the lawn was easy after watching his dad gleefully dancing up and down the yard performing graceful and acrobatic movements with the mower, creating intricate and dazzling patterns in the lawn, transforming mere grass into works of art. Let's just say that N1S doesn't have the same appreciation for the lawnitary arts that his dad has. He found out the mower is heavy, the air is hot and our neighbor's hills are steep. He's also discovering new muscles he didn't know he had. Those are called work muscles.

But I guess I too lacked enthusiasm for the glamour and privilege of sweating away my summer days pushing a heavy, polluting vibration machine at that age. I can still feel the blister between my ring and middle fingers from pulling the start cord twenty times before flooding the motor. And then I would have to massage my sore shoulder while I waited for the mower to 'rest' until I was able to try starting it again.

In my youth, my dad taught me all the 'tricks' to use when the mower wouldn't cooperate. You had to prime the motor just enough, but not too much. Sometimes I had to take the air filter off with a screwdriver and then use the screwdriver handle to 'tap' out some of the dirt from the filter. When those things failed I would start hitting the mower with the screwdriver handle anywhere I felt the mower would feel the sting the greatest. When that didn't work, I would ram it into a tree or kick it or yell some choice words of encouragement until I exhausted myself.

Then it would usually start with one pull.

In this picture you can clearly see the character being built in N1S.

Not to be outdone was N1S's sister Sweet Pea. When she saw him making his lawn mowing posters, she immediately started to work on her entrepreneurial venture.

She wasn't very excited for mowing lawns so she decided on something more in tune with her interests.

Poor SP has yet to land a paying client. That may be due to how she takes care of her own dog. There are many days when watching iCarly takes a higher priority than a full water dish. I'm also a little suspect of her qualifications when it comes to hamster sitting. Since we've never owned a hamster, what does she think she has to do to take care of one? I suppose she would entertain a hamster for the day by staring at it and petting it. Whatever she has planned, at least her prices are reasonable.

Does anyone need their fish walked?

How Much Can We Do This Weekend?

Two weeks ago marked our first family camping trip of the summer. Our neighbors were kind enough to invite us to set up our tent alongside their campsite. We set up on Saturday afternoon and packed up on Sunday afternoon. We thought it was a good idea make our first tent outing of the year a short one. We also made sure the campsite was only about fifteen miles from home.

The campsite is on a large lake with a very nice swimming beach. So, predictably, we spent most of our time there.

We were also visited by our other neighbors who just happened to bring their boat to the lake. They were kind enough to pull us around the lake on their tubes.

The kids really were having fun despite their bored expressions. At one point their tube dipped under the water, flooding the tube. Once we noticed the kids were submerged, the boat slowed down to see if they were alright. Once the kids had air to breathe they both screamed, "That was AWESOME! Do it again!".

After an afternoon of swimming and tubing the kids were tired enough to sleep right through a rain storm that night. Lady Di and I, however, enjoyed the constant noise of a million rain drops trying to tap their way into our tent to soak us. Luckily, the tent proved water proof and the rain gave up around 2:30 am. We packed up our wet gear early Sunday morning and started the long drive home. Fifteen minutes later I was home re-setting up the tent to dry it out.

This left us just enough time for a short rest before surprising the kids with a trip to the X-cel Energy Center to see Star Wars In Concert.

When I say we surprised them, we didn't let them know where we were going. The kids only found out at the front gate when Lady Di told them to read what their tickets said.

Then we had to race to our seats because we were three minutes late thanks to the 'wonderful' detour signage put up by MNDOT.

It was difficult to get any good photos of the concert, but the music was very good and the sound was great considering we were in a giant hockey arena.
The concert consisted of a full orchestra playing score music from all six of the Star Wars movies in front of a large movie screen which showed various clips of all of the movies. The actor who played C3PO, Anthony Daniels, narrated the show introducing each movement. Every once in a while a laser light show would dance to the music too.
We had a twenty minute intermission to enjoy the Star Wars displays in the lobby.

The displays consisted of authentic costumes and props from the movies. In this picture Number One Son is trying to be cool by not smiling. Newsflash N1S, if you are at a Star Wars event, coolness pretty much gets checked at the door.

The lobby also had these large backdrops to take pictures in front of. Lady Di drew a laugh from the kids when she told them to stand in front of this moon. "Oh Mom, don't you know that's the Death Star?!" We couldn't get a picture of the kids with the Ewoks because they were laughing too hard when Lady Di called them bears.

Here we caught the kids red handed playing with fire again.

This wasn't a display. Just a dad and his kids, but Lady Di thought they were good enough for a picture.

After intermission was over and we had avoided buying a $30 program, we found our seats for the second half of the show. I saw more than a few families with the expensive programs though. And even though it was only 3:00 in the afternoon, I also saw many parents come back from the concession stand with beer. I can understand drinking beer at a ball game or even something cool like a rock concert. But this was Star Wars. This was classical music set to space movies. It all just seemed a little too nerdy for beer. But perhaps some parents needed a few beers to make it through to the end. I asked Lady Di what she thought of the show so far. She confessed, "This is torture for me."

She isn't much of a fan.

She also was a little bit miffed when she saw a couple dozen audience members video taping the concert from their seats. Then she realized that the lights from the camcorders were actually little pen sized light sabers that were sold in the lobby.

All in all it was a very busy weekend. Thank you G & P for letting us crash your campsite. Thank you D & T for towing us around the lake on your tubes and thank you Lady Di for enduring an hour and a half of nerdy torture for us.

Now what are we doing for next weekend?

Something Borrowed, Something Red, White & Blue

Now that we are in the full swing of summer, we can enjoy the multiple seasons that summer has to offer. Baseball season, beach season and wedding season.

July 4th marked the blessed day that Lady Di's mother's brother's granddaughter got married. So that makes her my second-grand-niece-in-law. Although, I may be mistaken. I, myself, was riding Lady Di's shirttails all the way to the church. But even if I am a shirttail relative, my decision to marry Lady Di all those years ago legally entitles me the right to a piece of wedding cake and to dance the funky chicken in public.

You may ask, why would someone schedule their wedding on the 4th of July? Apparently, one of the bride's fondest childhood memories was of her dad taking her and her sisters to watch fireworks at this country club every year. And since we had no real firework plans ourselves, her wedding fit very nicely into our schedule.

I mentioned wedding cake earlier. To me, wedding cake is the highlight of every wedding. The vows, the tears, the toast, the bouquet tossing all take a back seat. Three types of cake were served. Chocolate, marble and three layer white cake with raspberry filling. Butter cream frosting was used on all. Whipped frosting may be healthier, but I prefer butter cream. And don't get me started on fondant!

Obviously, the wedding had a patriotic theme. And it looks like the happy couple enjoys motorcycles. Sweet Pea was in charge of cake photography.

She did take a break from photography to plant herself front and center for the bouquet toss. Luckily for us, the toss went high and right.

I said that cake was the highlight of the wedding but actually the highlight for me was when the bride's older sister sang an original song that she had written accompanied on the guitar to the happy couple.

The bride comes from a very musical family. Her grandmother plays piano and organ for their church. She has one uncle that plays piano and one uncle that plays guitar. Her father is also an accomplished guitar player. The bride and her two sisters also formed a band that they still play in called Trinity. And the music all started with the bride's great-grandma Ollie who can still pluck a pretty good folk song at 96 years old.

When the family music ended, the dance music began. And Sweet Pea was on a mission to dance her booty off to every song played this night.

I had to loan SP a dollar for this dance. I think it was a dollar well spent for such a nice picture.

The flower girl in the wedding was about a year younger than Sweet Pea, but that didn't stop her from asking Number One Son to dance. You could tell he was a little embarrassed but he danced part of a song with her. I guess he has now reached the age when he doesn't want to put himself out there as much as he used to. There weren't any girls his age at the reception, but I'm not sure if that would have helped him dance more or just serve to increase his embarrassment. He only found the dance floor for a few group line dances. The rest of the time he watched or blew bubbles with the bubble party favors.

Before the dance, SP went through about three tubes of bubble soap before the salads were served. After the meal, SP's older cousins showed her a trick they could do with the bubble soap. They each showed her how they could blow bubbles filled with 'pretty white clouds'. Then when the bubbles popped, the clouds would wisp away like the 'smoke' from a candle. I told SP that only her cousins could blow bubbles like that.

The evening ended with the fireworks show, of course. We had a front row seat for a spectacular show. I can certainly see why the bride wanted to relive such fond memories from her youth. The show prompted N1S to exclaim, "This is the best wedding I've ever been to!"

Born to Run

Summer is finally here, although our spring weather sure has felt summerish already. Now all the surrounding small towns can start their summer celebrations and festivals. I really enjoy these cozy carnivals. It's a perfect excuse to eat a corn dog, drink a root beer float and still have stomach space for the spaghetti supper at the church. Then I can sit back and decide if I want to watch hockey, softball, volleyball, comedians, magicians, musicians or carnies.

I started the weekend by entering myself in the 5K road race. This is the third 5K I've run and I wanted to challenge myself this time. My goal was to run a better time than my last race of 26 minutes 36 seconds. To help me along I programmed a specific race song list on my Ipod. I chose six songs for their 'pump up' qualities and made sure their playing times added up to 24 minutes. My plan was to finish the race before the last song ended. I chose Bon Jovi's song It's My Life to push me through to the end.

Conditions for running were perfect. It was cool without any wind. And just as I was strolling to the starting line, Lady Di surprised me by being there to cheer me on. She had gotten the kids to where they were going this morning early so she had time to see me off.

Here I am at the starting line. I'm the one wearing an all black shirt with the determined look of a winner on my face. Or I might just be struggling to adjust the volume on my Ipod.

As the starting gun fired, I started my playlist and Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses shot me out of the gate. My strategy was to run a faster pace for the first mile or as long as my strength held out. After one mile I was feeling a little winded but still pretty good. Then all of the real runners started to pass me. So I chose one of them to shadow and try to keep up with. I kept close to the sixty year old I had chosen until we had to run up the hill. Luckily, this stretch of road was long and straight. So when I reached the top of the hill I could still see the grampa I was following. He was about five blocks ahead of me by now, but if I could still see him, I was keeping up with him. It's too bad that binoculars are too bulky to run with.

So around the mile #2 marker there was a water station. I grabbed a paper cup of water on my way by. I must not be very good at drinking water during a race. I saw many runners grab a cup, get their drink, crush the cup and drop it without changing their pace or stride. I grabbed my cup and had to hold it with two hands before almost dropping it. Then I proceeded to pour half the water up my nose while running diagonally across the road. I ended up sticking my tongue in the water and lapping some up like a dog before dropping the cup half full on the road. In the mean time, I couldn't breathe very well from my nose due to the free nasal rinse so I had to pull a handkerchief from my pocket to clear the area. Since my hands were wet from my drink attempt the hanky pulled out funny and I dropped it on the street as well. I had to stop, turn around and go back to retrieve it. All in all, I don't think the water was worth it on this occasion. When I had finally regained my composure, Olympic Grampa was nowhere to be seen.

So I started in on mile #3 and the last song on my race playlist started. "What! So soon! How am I going to run a 4 minute 36 second mile?", I inwardly yelled. I looked at the timer on my watch and it only said 18 minutes had elapsed. After some mental math I concluded that Itunes doesn't time their songs very accurately. So I decided to run a couple more minutes before kicking it in for the home stretch.

As I hit the last half mile, my knee started to twinge a bit. I know from experience that once this starts, it continues to worsen until I can't run anymore. I then need to rest it by taking a break from running for a few weeks to a couple of months. So I had a decision to make. Do I choose the competitive route and keep pushing through to the finish line in an attempt to improve my time from last year? Or do I slow down and save the knee. Guaranteeing a slower time, but finishing the race and allowing me to continue training for the next race. On the one hand, I would like to have a good time and a break from running wouldn't be the worst thing to happen. But on the other hand, who am I trying to impress with a fast time? I run to improve my health and hopefully add years to my life and quality to those years.

So I asked my conscience, what should I do?

Two miniature gremlins then 'poofed' out of nowhere, one on each of my shoulders, just like in the Tom and Jerry cartoons. In the cartoon, one conscience gremlin was usually an angel and one a devil. Both of mine were angels. On the one shoulder was a tiny Sweet Pea offering her opinion in my ear, "Go for it Dad! I want you to win this race for me! Run as fast as you can and then we can go for ice cream!"

So I turned to the opposite shoulder where Number One Son was asking, "Dad, can I play the Wii?"

My mind was made up. It was now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive. IT'S MY LIFE!

Then I lengthened my stride, pumped my arms and zeroed in on the runner in front of me. I also accidentally broke a little wind at this point for an extra boost. Sorry, dude right behind me.

And just as I shifted into high gear, Holiday by Green Day started playing in my ears. That song was supposed to be in the middle of my race list. Guess who forgot to turn off the shuffle button.

Oh well, that realization gave me new life. I can possibly finish before this song is done. So I ran like the cops were after me. I ran as if I had found a half price buffet. I ran as I would to a Dr Pepper drinking contest and crossed the finish line at 23 minutes and 39 seconds.

Don't worry, the camera always adds 6 seconds.
Then I crawled to the watermelon table.

Now I get to look forward the next race. Two local communities have 5K's in August and Lady Di and I are going to team up and try to get Sweet Pea and Number One Son to join us. I may have to dangle a Wii remote from the back of my shirt to keep N1S motivated though.

For those who are interested, here was my official race playlist. If anyone has suggestions to improve it, let me know and I will learn how to properly operate my Ipod.

1. Welcome to the Jungle-Guns and Roses

2.Holiday-Green Day

3.Cherokee-Europe

4.Rock You Like a Hurricane-Scorpions

5.Peacemaker-Green Day

6.It's My Life-Bon Jovi

If You Want To View Paradise...

It's hard to believe that it has been over two weeks since the kids performed Willy Wonka Jr. My typing fingers must be getting pretty lazy.

This year Number One Son played the role of Grampa Joe and Sweet Pea was Little Orphan Annie. I know, there is no Annie in the Willy Wonka movie. Well, this production included the Bucket family recklessly splurging on extra electricity to listen to the Little Orphan Annie Radio Show.

This year so many kids auditioned that they had to form three casts. Each cast performed two shows. Lady Di and I were lucky enough to see one show from each of the other casts in addition to our kids' two shows.

Here's Charlie and Grampa Joe singing about their lucky 'Golden Ticket'.

Here they are meeting Mr Wonka at the gate to his factory. It looks like Mr. Wonka could stand to eat some of his own chocolate.
Our Little Orphan Sweet Pea. Do you think she knew where the camera was?

Singing her solo. She was also voted "Best Wig Ever!"

Here's N1S's good friend 'Violet'. She has been in other productions with N1S and has the best voice in the fifth grade. Violet's solo was called 'Chew It' and the songwriters did a good job rhyming to 'chew it'. My favorite line was 'There's no reason to poo poo it'.

Oompa Loompas! Sponsored by Chia Pet.

The candy boat ride with the ghoulish ghouls scaring the naughty children.

N1S's friends Violet and Augustus posing for the 'parentarazzi' following curtain call.

At least they can 'act' like they like each other for the camera.

Every year these shows get better and better. And I can honestly say this show was the best they have done. I'm not just saying that because I'm a parent and I have to say it. The directors do a great job getting over 180 kids to perform to their greatest potential and have so much fun doing it. The best part is the pride the kids have in their hard work. SP and N1S are certainly not shy on stage and definitely not shy about telling you all about their shows. These positive experiences are providing confidence and memories that the kids will have forever.

N1S's upcoming projects include a summer theatre camp production of The Music Man Jr. and possibly a show this fall called 'Show Choir'. In between gigs you can find him spending time with his beloved Wii console.

This summer Sweet Pea will be working hard kicking a soccer ball, basketball camp, girl scouts and a community ed theatre workshop.

Today is the last day of school for the year. How many days until next fall?

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Last weekend, we met a crossroads. And this was a big one. Should Sweet Pea get her hair cut?

SP started growing her hair eight short years ago. From day number one she has had fast growing hair. Almost every day of her life has found her with a braid, pony tail, pig tails or a snarly hairstack. Lately, her hair has preferred the snarly hairstack most of the time. Most mornings the hairbrush would hide itself for fear of another 'boot camp workout' through SP's tangled jungle. These hair brush excursions through the brier patch were also not very fun for SP. This was one reason that SP was talking more and more about a new do.

The other reason encouraging her was that a couple years ago her cousin, Spice, with long hair had donated her hair to Locks of Love. SP was all excited about this.

So SP was all ready to chop it off.

I was ready to give up arm cramps from brushing for thirty minutes each morning.

Number One Son was ready to stop listening to SP scream every time I caught a knot in the hair brush.

One member of the household, however, was struggling with SP's decision.

Eight years ago, Lady Di had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her beautiful baby girl has had beautiful long tresses for many of those years. Her beautiful hair has held countless pony tail holders, barrettes, hair bands, ribbons, tiaras, combs, flags, flowers, curlers and many other accessories and accoutrement.

This was from one of our many wacky hair days at school.

Over the last eight years, SP's hair has been an important part of her. And Lady Di wasn't sure if she wanted to let her beautiful baby girl go just yet.

But in the end, we finally wore LD down and she made the appointment.

LD and SP took a trip downtown to Rocco Altobelli and made an afternoon of it. SP was very excited and was telling everyone she saw that her hair was going to Locks of Love today. When she sat down in the chair, LD's beautician Michelle, started brushing SP's hair.

"Oh my goodness", she exclaimed. "This hair is to die for!" Then she called all of the other girls in the salon over to show them SP's hair. They all then took turns running their fingers through SP's thick luxurious hair. Commenting on her natural highlights and waves and how perfect it was for Locks of Love. "I think there is enough here for two braids!", her stylist stated.

She braided two twelve inch long cords of SP locks and 'one', 'two' snips and they were gone.

I don't think SP shed a tear, but LD's eyes leaked a little salt water that day.

The stylist did a good job on SP's new short do. Much better than this haircut. And SP was all smiles too.

When she got home she couldn't wait to show everyone. She acted just like the shampoo models on commercials by shaking her head side to side to let her hair fan out. Then she would bend her head back and slowly run her fingers through her now shorter luxurious hair.

In the end, everyone loves SP's new look. We still have our beautiful baby girl. I have had to make one adjustment though. Now when I have to find SP in crowded group of kids, I can no longer find her by looking for the child with the pretty, long hair. I have to look for the slightly more grown up looking, short hair of my still beautiful daughter. The daughter I'm proud of for generously donating one of her prized processions to make life better for someone else's daughter going through a tough time.

For now, we are all enjoying SP's new look, but I know it won't be too long before the hair brush goes on strike again.

Guess what? Answers!

The results are in. Time to grade your papers. Let's go through the answers to last week's quiz together. Everyone pass your paper to your neighbor to the left and use a red pencil to correct the quiz answers. If you need to refresh your memory of the questions, just scroll to the last post.

The answer to #1 is of course, Chicken Butt.

This was a popular question when I was in school. Chicken Butt was always the smark aleck answer to 'Guess what?' Now I use it to teach the kids not to start every conversation with 'Guess what?' It hasn't worked. In fact, I think I just taught them to be smart alecks as they now purposely say 'Guess what?' just to hear me say Chicken Butt.

The answer to #2 is, Cow Pie.

I don't know where this answer comes from but it just sounds fun.

Lastly, #3's answer is, In Your Hair.

I have heard these three answers to these three questions ever since grade school. Now that everyone knows, please use them liberally.
Questions 4 and 5 were pretty easy. I hope everyone knows Red sky at night, sailor's delight, and How now brown cow.
Questions 6 and 7 may have been a little more difficult. These questions came from one of my college classmates who always quoted these sayings whenever we did some college 'celebrating'. Whiskey to beer, never fear. Beer to whiskey, pretty risky. Both are good rules to follow when overindulgence is to be practiced. However, we usually used them after the fact on the following morning to explain why some friends had worse hangovers than others.
Numbers 8,9 and 10 come straight from the grade school playground. I'm sure everyone knows what to do when you 'Miss me' twice. Now it's time to pucker up. And everyone has threatened to stick a needle in their eye to prove their honesty. But I hadn't heard of #10 until our kids were in school.
The answer to Made ya look, made ya look... is, 'now you're in the baby book!'
I just think this taunt sounds cool.
Of the last two questions, one is old school, one is new school.
Number One Son's first grade class went through a phase where all the kids wanted to make you say the word, 'What'. Once someone said the unutterable word, they had 60 seconds to get someone else to say 'What'. So what happens to you if you don't get rid of the word? Endless mock and ridicule until you use your Dad power to reverse the game into 'Whoever says 'What' wins.
The final question is also a trick to get someone to say 'Underwear'. This trick never gets old. I have played this trick on friends, family, co-workers and strangers at the mall. The joke probably won't work in Victoria's Secret, however, and it might actually get you a visit from mall security.
So you can all heave a sigh of relief, the quiz is over. Please pass your papers back to the right and hand them in. I grade on a curve and am open to bribes of most varieties.
Thank you to all who participated and left comments. Thirteen comments is the most I've ever had for a post. I know a few of the comment were my own but that still counts doesn't it?
Now I will have to gather more questions for the next quiz. Keep your minds as sharp as your number 2 pencils, because you never know when the next pop quiz will be.