Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Questions From The Big House

Today at lunch, Number One Son asked which word to use when breaking the law, legal or illegal.

"What did you do now!", I snapped.

Just kidding, but his innocent question started a fact finding, in-depth investigation by Sweet Pea. After N1S's question, SP had to ask, "What does illegal mean?"

"It means breaking the law."

"What does breaking the law mean?"

"It means doing something bad."

"Like calling someone a bad name?"

"No, it's like someone speeding and driving crazy.", N1S volunteered.

Then she asked, "What happens when you break the law?"

"You go to prison.", answered N1S.

N1S seems to be preparing for something.

"What is prison?"

"You don't want to know.", I mumbled to myself.

Actually, I thought this was good time to put a little scare into her and let her know what kind of place prison is. I had to dig deep into my past and dredge up all of my knowledge about prison. I had to relive some very unpleasant memories from things I've seen on Hogan's Heroes and The Shawshank Redemption.

"Prison is a place where bad guys have to live in a small room with no Webkins or Barbies or sidewalk chalk, and the bad guys are mean to you all the time.", I said in my most serious documentary narrator voice.

N1S chimed in too. "And you can't have any visitors."

SP wasn't ready for such stark reality. "They can have visitors on their birthdays, right?"

"No, no visitors, no presents, no cake." There, that should nip that bud.

"Why can't they have presents.", she tirelessly asked.

"Because sometimes their bad friends will put a gun or a knife or a light saber in the present to help them escape.", I said, running low on answers.

"Well, what do they eat?", she asked.

"Mostly gruel.", offered N1S.

"What's gruel?", she relentlessly inquired.

"Like oatmeal, but without maple and brown sugar."

"Do they get seconds?" , she inquired.
"No, you don't get seconds and you have to share with guys like this."

This was N1S's homemade costume from Halloween 2000. Notice the black styrofoam ball and chain. He was 2 years old that year. Lady Di did a great job on the black electrical tape costume and scrapbook page. Thanks to her, memories are only a page turn away.


Anonymous said...

Very cute! I love the costume. Great conversation.

Anonymous said...

Very cute! I love the costume. Great conversation.

DJ Kirkby said...

Hmmmm...must be somethign going round becuase we recently had a 'what is jail' conversation in our house. Scary that is all I can say... Love the costume, you have a talented wife.

Casdok said...

Well answered!! :)

The Father of Five said...

Being "just down the hall" from the jail every day - I can confirm that jail is not a fun place WHAT SO EVER!

Funny thing is that where I work, the jail is considered "much nicer" by the criminal's standards, and more than one "bad guy" has been quoted as saying something to the effect of...

"Well, at least I was arrested in Bloomington... If your going to have to spend time in Jail, better Bloomington than any other jail.."

I am not quite sure on how to take that... but I guess in the long run it is "good"... (rolling eyes).

Darren said...

No Webkinz, Barbies or sidewalk chalk? You're going to make some dads want to go.

Greg said...

Hi! Found your blog through Father-of-Five. You have a great blog and I will be back to read often!

I work in corrections and can also say that jail is not fun. Prison is quite fun in MN from what I hear from the crooks in our facility. They all hate county jail and WANT to go to prison!!!

Can you imagine that? Wanting to go to prison?

Bloomington jail might be nice, but there is a reason Dakota County corrections people call our county Good-to-you county. Not proud of it, but that is how they talk about Goodhue County!!

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I'm a 40 year old dad of two. My wonderful wife, Lady Di, and I try to keep the kids from blowing things up here in central Minnesota.