Anybody Got the Time?

I'm slowly realizing that the older our kids get, the busier we seem to be. I used to think, "I can't wait until they can walk so I won't have to carry them." Then I had to chase them around the store or wait for them to catch up because they wouldn't let me carry them any more. Then I couldn't wait until they were out of diapers. Then I had to spend more time in the bathroom with them.

I thought life would be easier when they started school. I found out that my time is now occupied with class volunteering and after school field trips. Now they are both on athletic teams for the summer. Ethan is playing baseball and Emery is playing soccer. Last week, Emery had a soccer game at 6pm and Ethan had his end of the year baseball jamboree at 7:30pm. I got home from work at 5:30pm and swallowed a hamburger "Wimpy style" (swallowed whole). Then we drove the half mile trip to the soccer field which took 20 minutes because everyone in town is either coming home from work or going to the soccer field. We got there just in time to set up the chairs and drink a bottle of water in the 91 degree heat before dehydration set in. Emery's game ended at 7pm. At 7:15pm we started to drive the 200 yards across the park to the baseball diamond. The soccer fields are at the bottom of the hill that the baseball diamonds are atop. Since everyone at soccer also had a kid in baseball, this short trip also took 20 minutes. It was a minivan-suv parade up the hill.

The baseball jamboree ended around 8:30pm and the temperature had plummeted to 86 degrees. We were all pretty much wilted by then.

As we walked the dusty path to our van, Lady Di whispered to me, "I kind of promised them we would go out for ice cream." Once again, the kids' supersonic bat ears heard every word and the "Ice Cream!" chant started.

After ice cream we arrived home a little after 9pm. The kids shuffled like zombies to bed, and Lady Di and I collapsed onto our couch.

Does it ever get any easier with kids? I've determined that it doesn't get either easier or harder to raise kids. It only changes as they get older. We trade diapers for help on the toilet. We trade strollers for bikes. We trade baby toys for board games. Each time your child accomplishes a goal you trade the old one for the next one. Each trade also involves a little more independence for your children and a little more worry for the parents. As soon as that first child is born, your time is no longer your own. We help our kids develop and advance in the hopes of getting a little time to ourselves. We are only fooling ourselves though. That extra time is always filled with something new. The only time in our lives when we finally do get extra time to ourselves, is when our children leave home to live their own lives. This is when we wish our kids would never grow up.

So cherish this time as special time with your kids. Accept the fact that your time is not yours but belongs to your family as a whole. We only have a certain number of minutes given to us in this life. Don't waste them by trying to find more time that isn't there.

Absence Makes the Father Grow Fonder

Last Monday my son Ethan had his second ear surgery to repair a hole that didn't close after his ear tubes fell out. About one month ago he had the same surgery, but the patch to cover the hole didn't attach itself. This time we spent another long day at the hospital. We got there at 8am and came home around 5pm. Ethan did a great job. He was a little scared of going under anesthetic this time around, but in the end he was brave. He was a little crafty too. Like I said, this time he was scared of going under for some reason. We tried to reassure and persuade him that it was alright. Out of desparation we offered to get him something he wanted if he was brave. We said we would get him a Gameboy. He said, "How about an X-box?" We declined and he resigned himself to a Gameboy and allowed the doctor to put him under. He was quite groggy and in some pain afterwards. To make matters worse, we hit rush hour traffic on the way home. On top of the traffic, we had 2 detours to maneuver around. He only complained a couple times about not being home sooner. Now we have to keep him from running, jumping, blowing his nose and roughhousing. Basically, he has to stop acting like an 8 year old boy for at least one to two weeks. So we borrowed our friends' Harry Potter movies and bought a couple new Jack Sparrow books and lined up as many indoor activities as we could think of. Luckily, he likes board games and reading.

The weekend before Ethan's surgery, his little sister Emery went to stay with Gramma and Grampa up north. She is having a great time. She caught a sunfish "all by herself" yesterday. She has gone swimming and shopping and even went to a township meeting with Gramma. I talked to her on the phone tonight and asked her if she is ready to come home soon. She said, "Yeah, soon or maybe later." I think she still has some fun stuff to do.

It's nice for the kids to visit family overnight on occasion. The dinner table has definitely been quieter though. I am finding that I sure miss her when she is gone. I notice her missing in the morning when I make breakfast. I only set the dinner table with 3 plates instead of 4. I see piles of pony tail holders, stuffed animals and 'My Little Pony's' and I miss her.

Tonight, Ethan was to have had a baseball game. He had to miss it due to his surgery. When the coach called out his name inadvertently I had another sense of something missing. I knew he was at home, but it still made me notice that something wasn't right.

Losing a child is something I don't ever want to have to endure. I can't imagine how it feels for parents who have lost a child. I don't want to seem morbid. I know my children aren't far away. But sometimes their absence from a place I'm used to seeing them in, reminds me that something could happen to them. Then what would I do? I wouldn't be the same man. I guess that my family is such a large part of who I am, when one or more of those parts are missing, a large part of myself is missing. It is natural for a father to love and protect his family at all costs. When I think of such things, I think of how grateful and fortunate I am to have the family I do have. I love Lady Di and the kids more and feel greater joy when we are together. Emery will be back home on Friday. I think I'll give Ethan an extra special breakfast tomorrow morning and save a couple dozen hugs for Emery on Friday.