The weekend before Ethan's surgery, his little sister Emery went to stay with Gramma and Grampa up north. She is having a great time. She caught a sunfish "all by herself" yesterday. She has gone swimming and shopping and even went to a township meeting with Gramma. I talked to her on the phone tonight and asked her if she is ready to come home soon. She said, "Yeah, soon or maybe later." I think she still has some fun stuff to do.
It's nice for the kids to visit family overnight on occasion. The dinner table has definitely been quieter though. I am finding that I sure miss her when she is gone. I notice her missing in the morning when I make breakfast. I only set the dinner table with 3 plates instead of 4. I see piles of pony tail holders, stuffed animals and 'My Little Pony's' and I miss her.
Tonight, Ethan was to have had a baseball game. He had to miss it due to his surgery. When the coach called out his name inadvertently I had another sense of something missing. I knew he was at home, but it still made me notice that something wasn't right.
Losing a child is something I don't ever want to have to endure. I can't imagine how it feels for parents who have lost a child. I don't want to seem morbid. I know my children aren't far away. But sometimes their absence from a place I'm used to seeing them in, reminds me that something could happen to them. Then what would I do? I wouldn't be the same man. I guess that my family is such a large part of who I am, when one or more of those parts are missing, a large part of myself is missing. It is natural for a father to love and protect his family at all costs. When I think of such things, I think of how grateful and fortunate I am to have the family I do have. I love Lady Di and the kids more and feel greater joy when we are together. Emery will be back home on Friday. I think I'll give Ethan an extra special breakfast tomorrow morning and save a couple dozen hugs for Emery on Friday.