Saturday, February 21, 2009

I'm Hunting Wabbits.

Yesterday, I must have had some bad karma catch up to me for something I must have done to someone previously.

My day started off alright. Work went well enough that when my replacement came in, all of my work was done. Since we were caught up, I got to leave about a half hour early.

I thought to myself, "Since I have this extra half hour that no one (Lady Di) knows about except me, I believe I will visit my favorite hardware store for a stroll through."

It's been quite a while since I was able to just leisurely walk through the hardware store, so I was really looking forward to it.

Since I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I just wandered. The tail end of winter put the snow shovels on clearance so I picked up one to replace our worn down misshapen one.

With spring approaching, I drifted to the gardening department. For the last few years our yard has had three or more rabbits eating all of our plants and bushes so I found some Deer and Rabbit Repellent. It said it was all natural and the ingredients included putrescent egg solids and garlic. Apparently, rabbits don't like Italian omelets. When I read the line that said 'Odorless When Dry', I was sold. The store had a ready to use spray bottle or a larger concentrated bottle to mix with water in a sprayer. I wanted to do our whole yard so I grabbed the concentrate.

I was feeling pretty good with my first fifteen minutes of my free time. Even though I didn't have a list to get, I had found two things that we really needed anyway.

I then walked around in the hand tools aisle, because you can always find something interesting there. This is where my day took a sharp turn.

With a snow shovel in one hand and my gloves and a bottle of putrescent eggs in the other, I bent down to look at a heavy duty nail puller. I must have had too much in one of my hands. The bottle of rabbit repellent slipped out of my hand and landed cap first to the floor. Now you would think that a child proof cap on something as vile as rabbit repellent would be strong enough hold when dropped. Guess again. The cap popped completely off and the bottle came to rest sideways on the floor with half of it's garlic surprise already across the floor.

My nose told me immediately what had happened. My nose also alerted me to the fact that before the bottle came to rest, the impact from hitting the floor had splashed a good amount of liquid stench onto my shoes and coat. When I tried to wipe some off with my gloves I then had gloves that stunk too. I would never see the last fifteen minutes of my hardware stroll.

I then started my speed walk to the exit. On the way I passed two employees and told them of a spill in hand tools. I made sure to keep walking as I talked in order to stay downwind from them. Then I said, "I didn't see the guy who did it but if I do I'll let you know." Then I gave them an eye roll and said, "Some people, huh? Tsk.".

After paying for my snow shovel in record time, (I just threw my credit card at the clerk on my way out the door and said keep the change), I jumped in my truck. I then realized that the claim of 'Odorless When Dry' was flagrant false advertising.

Now the cab in my pickup smelled so much I had to roll down a window in the middle of February to keep my eyes from tearing up too much to drive. Let's just say I was home in record time.

When home, Lady Di and the kids were surprised to see me home so early. I then told them the story. The kids went running for cover and Lady Di ordered me throw everything in the laundry room. So much for sympathy.

I guess the positive way to look at it is that there were absolutely no rabbits anywhere near the pickup to bother me while driving.

3 comments:

The Father of Five said...

Oh, how I can relate to this story on so many levels...

My first job (and one of my all time favorites) was working in a small local neighborhood Coast to Coast Hardware store. I worked there for just under 10 years.

Anyway, on a particularly slow evening, the manager had one of the two cashiers helping to stock the shelves. She was working in the lawn and garden department.

I was working in a neighboring department, when I heard a C~R~A~S~H.

I ran over to where I heard the crash come from, and low and behold - there was the cashier, holding her hands over her face, and a broken bottle all over the floor.

I was struck with a particularly pungent whiff of something in the air (not too unusual in the Lawn and Garden department), but this one got more and more sour, and foul.

Being somewhat "smitten" with this young lady at the time, I did the honorable thing, and told her not to worry about it, that I would clean it up.

Ugh...

I sent her on her way to go clean up, and started the process of cleaning.

The closer I got to the "spill" the sicker I got to my stomach... The smell was almost "visible" in the air.

I started the job by picking up the bottle that was dropped.

Fish Emulsion Fertilizer. (The left over fluids of ground up fish..)

I smelled that stuff for DAYS.. and it may have been psychological, but for MONTHS, it seemed like every time I went down that isle, I could still smell that Fish Emulsion....

Blech...

pixie said...

I guess you won't have to worry about rabbits in your truck for a while...

Ofelia said...

That's hilarious! We use DeFence repellent. It smells like rotting eggs, which rabbits hate. After it dries, you can’t smell a thing. But the rabbits sure can! And it repels deer too.

Read the product description where it says ""putrescent egg"":
http://www.havahart.com/store/animal-repellents/5600

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I'm a 40 year old dad of two. My wonderful wife, Lady Di, and I try to keep the kids from blowing things up here in central Minnesota.