Don't Forget To Breath

Last weekend we discovered an unlikely teaching tool for our kids. As you know, Number One Son has Asperger's and must learn most social cues and rules. This aspect of Asperger's can often make Aspies easy targets for bullies. Luckily, we have only had a few minor instances in which N1S was able to learn from a run in with a bully.

This weekend we rented a movie that does a good job illustrating what works and what doesn't when dealing with bullies. We rented The Karate Kid. For those who aren't familiar, The Karate Kid is a story about a youth that moves to California, gets picked on by the karate club in town, learns to 'paint a fence' and earns respect from the bullies by winning the karate tournament. Sorry for the spoiler but the movie is over twenty years old.

Movies like this are just right for our 6 and 10 year olds. It has a little adult language but only enough to remind our kids of what words we don't use. This movie is also good in that it clearly defines the bullies from the good guys. This distinction is often difficult for Aspies to work out for themselves in the real world. So we used this story to illustrate what happens when certain choices are made. N1S figured out most of the subtleties of the characters, but he still needed a little bit of direction at times. Like when Danny's girlfriend was mad at him. N1S asked me why she was mad. I safely deferred to Lady Di for the answer.

When Danny gets baited into a fight with the stronger and more experienced karate gang, it ends poorly for Danny. Some situations are good to walk away from. Later, when Danny sees an opportunity to play a joke on the head bully in the bathroom, he chooses to spray him with a hose. Again, it ends poorly for Danny.

However, we don't want N1S to look for every opportunity to walk away. We want him to recognize the signs of trouble brewing and not get baited into making bad choices.

The movie also illustrates the good choices Danny made. Such as not letting the bullies affect his relationships with others. He didn't let the bullies turn him into one of them. It also showed how Danny chose to do something about his situation and not just give up. He worked hard and trained and eventually earned the respect from the bullies.

This was a movie I enjoyed when I was in high school. The kids were amazed that I had actually seen this in the theatre.

The fun part about this movie is that we can now reference it to many other teaching situations. Now when I want the kids to do something, all I have to do is use my gruff, limited English, Mr Miyagi voice.

"N1S-san! Show me 'practice piano!'" "Breath in through nose, out through mouth."

"Sweet Pea-san!" Show me 'clean room!'" And then she answers, "Most important. Don't forget to breath."

Kidding aside, The Karate Kid is a pretty good movie to teach simple lessons about social interactions. Even though real life is one hundred times more complex, N1S will still need to be introduced to as many social situations as possible to learn the tools needed to make correct choices. Movies that involve good guys and bad guys are a safe way to instruct without N1S actually encountering a real bully. Don't miss an opportunity to plant the seed of learning.

We will have to search the 'Oldies' section of our video store again for another blast from the past that may help through another social situation. Maybe we can rent Teen Wolf for next time to learn how to react when our changing bodies grow fur and fangs. Any other suggestions from the eighties?

So now my kids, hopefully, will 'paint the fence', 'sand the floor' , 'wax on, wax off', and 'vacuum the carpet' without question, thinking that I may just be training them for the next big karate tournament.

Lunch Lady Land

Today, I met Sweet Pea for lunch at her kindergarten cafeteria. While walking through the halls to the lunch room, familiar smells brought back memories of my own lunch room adventures. I remembered some of my favorite school lunches. Pizza, burger on a bun and triangle tater tots were some of my favorites. And of course you can't forget, Sloppy Joe, Sloppy, Sloppy Joe. I never did get a taste for the school's Spanish rice though. I checked the menu beforehand and found out that we were having toasted ham and cheese sandwiches. Score!

We have discovered that Sweet Pea has been struggling to finish her food during lunch time. This usually is no problem at home. She is advanced for her age at asking for seconds. At school though, she has trouble getting through 'firsts'. Lady Di has volunteered in the lunch room a couple times and has identified the problem. It seems, Sweet Pea likes to socialize at meal time. Lady Di witnessed SP talking to her 'girlfriends', her friends who are boys, teachers, lunch ladies and anyone within earshot. This left her plate full for the first 19 minutes of the 20 minute lunch period. When the lunchroom monitor walked by saying, "Finish up. Only one minute left.", Sweet Pea went into vacuum mode. With both hands grasping utensils, she started shovelling in food like a combine in a cornfield. But in a very ladylike way I'm sure.

Today, I got to enjoy SP's company with a few of her classmates firsthand. I got to the school early so I would be at the lunchroom when SP came with her class. For the best surprise effect, I hid around a corner and waited for her class to arrive. As her line passed me I didn't see Sweet Pea. I looked around the corner to see her crying. I rushed over to her and asked, "What happened?" I guess she had bumped heads with the boy in front on her. I wiped her tears and asked it I could have lunch with her. That made her feel better. So much for a big surprise.

She introduced me to her friends and we sat down to eat. Grilled ham and cheese, corn chips, an apple and carrots. As I ate, I could see why Sweet Pea had trouble finishing her food. I hardly said a word and I couldn't finish my plate either. And I can eat pretty fast when I want to. I should probably mention that the lunch ladies gave me two sandwiches. I was happy to see that SP ate about half of her food. I was also glad that she didn't spill on her clothes because it was picture day too.

I wasn't so careful. Sorry Lady Di.

Speaking of Lady Di, she came to visit us at lunch too. LD was volunteering for picture day, so she sat with us. At the end of lunch SP realized that she would not have enough time to finish eating unless she stuffed her cheeks like a squirrel's, so she asked Lady Di, "Can I have a baggie to take this home for later?"

I don't think this restaurant does that.

I did see an untouched Milky Way candy bar in one boy's lunch box, I wouldn't have minded trading for. Who sends a full sized candy bar in a kindergartner's lunch?

Overall, we had a nice lunch date. I got to meet some of SP's friends and she got to show off her Dad a little. One of her friends asked if I could be on his dodge ball team at recess.
"Sorry", I said, "Old football injury."